Back in the Swing of Things.

Hope you survived the very rainy Spring Break. I don't know about you but it put a damper on some of my plans. The week boiled down to doing homework and a research project, Kumon books for my 3 year old (you should check these out if you don't know them!), doing some of the projects metioned in my previous posts, going to the local playground, a trip on the 7 train and a trip on the South Ferry (the closest I will get to a cruise for the next few years!) So, today, the big kids are back and I think we are all better for it. Getting back into routine can be reassuring for both kids and parents.

Today is also the 10th Anniversary of the Columbine massacre. While I will not attempt to analyze the actions of the boys responsible or debunk any theories of why this terrible tragedy took place I will comment on what the situation and other situations like this make me think my responsibilty is as an educator and parent.

One of the greatest mistakes I see parents make is not understanding who their children are. This creates an inability to parent effectively. To be an effective parent we must try and learn who our children are and provide them with encouragement, access to tools to help them establish their self esteem and yes, provide them with discipline. Contrary to what many believe, discipline is not a "punitive" word, it comes from the Latin meaning, "to teach". We must teach our children if they are to succeed. We must not be afraid to address our children's undesirable behaviors in an effective and honest way without cutting them down. Children need to learn what will be tolerated and need to replace and practice acceptable behaviors. If your child is aggressive and angry, then you must acknowledge it, discuss it and give children a chance to master appropriate actions. Anger needs to be channeled into positive venues and power and control need to be discussed as responsibility. If your child is weak you must build them up and encourage them to be stronger. You must look to find activities that they can succeed at and provide opportunities to make friends that make them feel good. And while adults are the leaders in a child's life it is not too early to begin impress upon school aged children that everyone is responsible for their own safety and behavior as well as those of our peers. When we make children responsible for their behavior we help them to develop self confidence, the root of of all happiness in it's greatest form.

So in reflection of this very difficult day and unfortunately many others that have followed with the same outcome, I look to parents to learn, to know, to discipline, accept and love their children so our children can learn, know, discipline, accept and love themselves.