Thursday, January 28, 2010
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
1. Be polite yourself. Children learn behavior from watching adults. Parents should not only make a concerted effort to be polite to their children and their significant other (use "please", "thank you", "excuse me") but to the world at large. Children watch how you treat the store salesperson or cashier, the doorman or the bank teller particularly when you are frustrated by them.
2. Make sure you discuss with your children how you treat others. " Do you see how I went up to the manager and thanked her personally, after she solved my problem" When there is a situation that you handle badly be sure to discuss your mistakes with your child and ask your children maybe how you should have handled it or what choices you could have made instead. It's not just the words but being able to be in a situation and understanding what needs to be said and done. Being polite is an exercise in critical thinking.
3. Phone manners count. Children do listen when you are on the phone, and yes, even when the television is blaring and you think they are not listening. Using appropriate phone manners, getting names of individuals who are helping you and thanking them before you get off the phone are important skills for your children to understand and learn.
4. Always use real terms with your kids "make nice", "be good" or "share" are vague. Terms like " I appreciate", " I will try harder", "lets take turns", "I don't have the time at this moment", "I don't feel like talking, right now" or making a statement like "when you (hit your brother, leave your dishes, etc.), I feel _____" , are terms that have meaning and help our children to communicate effectively. Strong communication leads to good manners.
5. Thank you notes with limits. While it is nice to have your child write individual thank you notes (it can be a daunting tasks even for adults) you do not want it to turn into a fight or such a horrible task they refuse to do it . Set a time when your child can draw a picture with a general thank you message that can be copied , or take a photo with each gift and have your children write a simple "thank you so much, I love it". on the back.