Lots going on here. Arts Ed Consultant and Ask the Educator have been quoted twice in the past two weeks with a few other shouts coming in the next few weeks and months. The Staten Island Advance article gives some how tos, to get your sons and daughters bonding in the city.
Read them here:
As well, we have updated the site with links to facebook and twitter. We are having a fan drive on Facebook. The individual who brings the most fans on my fb page can choose any book from my aStore for free! So bring those fans in!
We are also featuring some new favorite books on my new aStore. Make sure you check them out!
On to the question this week! "With the upcoming school year, how can I help my child improve his confidence?"
As a parent of a child who needed some confidence boosting, I have had some experience with this and I'm still putting many of the ideas found below into practice. Children who lack confidence can have trouble making eye contact, withdraw from social activities, lack a command of language, have an inability to gain control of a situation or can exhibit less self control, can be a target of bullying or can become a bully and in some cases can develop anxiety disorders or behavioral problems.
Having a child that lacks confidence can be very hard on parents. Children who have confidence problems often feel the "messenger is as important as the message". In other words, your child's story can be: "Mom and Dad, you know nothing but my teacher, friends, coach, etc. are always right, even if you tell me the same exact thing!" While this is a normal reaction for many children at different stages, children with confidence problems tend to become resentful and often reject help from their parents.
Below are a few tips that take different approaches. There is no one fix. Try and see what works for your kid. Note, that something that does not work at one point might be the right solution when your child is ready. So be gentle about your approach and feel out your child's reaction at different periods.
Make goals with your kids
What do they wish for in the new school year? Have children make lists, create a journal or draw a picture. How do they think they can make this happen? You can make a step by step plan and set up a way to keep track of success like charts, graphs or by journaling. Model this with your kids. Make a list of goals for yourself!
Role play and model appropriate language
Young children like when their parents get down on the floor and play with Barbie's or with action figures. Use this as an opportunity to demonstrate (with two figures that you are playing with) how to deal with disagreements, making an introduction and telling others what you want. Children will enjoy the interaction and you can really give some skills to deal with bullies and being left out. Older children might deal well with mock situations (with or without action figures) that you both play along with.
Watch what you do
Your kids watch how you deal with people and with tense situations. What do you do when someone is rude to you? Or when someone cuts in front of you on line? Or when there is a misunderstanding? When you handle a situation well, in front of your kids this can be a teachable moment and should be pointed out and discussed. "Did you notice my tone of voice?" or "How I told them that they were mistaken and used appropriate language?" Or discuss how you found the humor in what could have been a difficult situation.
Give your child opportunities to be successful and make meaningful connections
Find appropriate activities that fit your child's personality. Seek out talented coaches, tutors and individuals that can be your child's mentor. If your child has trouble with social activities consider non competitive programs like martial art, yoga, gymnastics or a musical instrument. If you can afford it, sign your child up for a few sessions with a private teacher. This can acquaint your child with an activity and provide them with the special attention your child might need. You can't be everything to your child but you can help to surround them with people who will help them be successful.
Is the problem much bigger? Many Sensory Integration Disorders can be connected with confidence issues. Sensory gyms and the field of Occupational Therapy can be very instrumental in helping your child. It is hard to admit that your child might need therapy but it can make the difference. If you feel your child might need more help, consider getting them evaluated by the state if they are 3 or younger. If your child is 4 or older, discuss with your child's pediatrician and check your local hospitals and listings for other types of therapy centers.
Finally, be patient. Building confidence is a lifelong skill. It is something that we all struggle with at one time or another and the hope is we develop the right coping mechanisms so we don't lose it when the chips are down (and they will be at some time). Keep encouraging and trying new ways so that we may all find our way to shine, even as parents!
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