S-A-F-E-T-Y Dance!

Okay, another missed week, last week, sorry. I am swamped these days. I was a guest on everywaywoman.com's Blog Talk Radio, a few weeks ago. I planned to post the podcast but was having trouble editing (there was a guest before me). I was discussing the topic of children and sharing. I had a lot of fun and will post it on this blog as soon as I can make it more user friendly for you all.

I also had a great time doing the Mom's Luncheon's at babybites last week! Please know I am available to speak on any teaching/parenting topic at your child's school PTA meeting, parent information night, small group parent salons held at a home or even personal consultations. Please contact me with any questions!

So my question this week..."How and when do I prepare my child with safety tips and strategies?"

From the time children begin to be mobile you can let your children know what they are doing is safe or not safe. Putting dirt and twigs in their mouth, "not safe", going down backwards on the stomach on the stairs, "safe". We use the terms on a constant basis hoping to teach our children what safety is about. However, safety is ambiguous and it's about making choices which comes with experience, learned responsibility and time. That does not mean that you can't get your children practicing and learning some basic tools starting at age two and a half:

Know the basics:

Your child should know their address in full by the age of 4, parents and care givers full names, home and/or a parents cell number and what individuals they may go to and with, in case of an emergency. Have your child practice giving you this information a few times a week starting at about 3 and half and continue quizzing them especially before you enter a crowded place where you might lose each other.

Make a Plan:

What if you get separated? What will you do? I tell my children if we get separated they are to find a mother with a baby (not a police officer or security person) and tell them they are separated from their parent and could they please dial mom for them on their cell phone for them? I remind my children they are not to leave with this person but just have them call right where they are standing. Other techniques include making a meeting place at a certain time (if your child tells time) or in the case of getting separated on public transportation - to take the train or bus to the next stop get off and wait for me. If they get left at a stop they are to stay put until I get back to them.

Tell Your Child To Confirm When Plans Change:

I was very proud of my son recently, when he was told by me that his dad would pick him up from an after school program. At pick up time, I get a call from a friend of ours (who is also our emergency contact and has picked up my son on other occasions), saying "Your son wants to make sure he is supposed to be picked up by me." I was confused myself. It turned out that my husband had missed his stop and could not get to pick him up on time, so he called our friend to get our son. Even though my son knew our friend well, he remembered that his dad was supposed to pick him up and made our friend call me to confirm before he left with him. When I realized what was going on, I had my friend put my son on the phone and gave him my okay to go home with our friend. Tell your children that if a plan changes, even if they know someone or something seems strange, call a parent and confirm or tell another trusted adult that they were not aware of a plan change.

Leaving Your Child Home Alone:

There are laws about this and it is different for every county. Depending on your child's age (6 and up) and maturity you might leave your child alone in your home in a pinch. I am not talking about leaving your two year old for a whole day or going out while they are asleep (this is not safe!). I am talking about that quick run to the laundry for all us NYC parents who have to run to the building's basement or the quick run to the neighbors to borrow some sugar. Even though you might be gone for less than 5 minutes make sure you give your child some safety tools .

- First they not only need to know your cell phone but HOW to dial it. Have them practice it until they can quickly and confidently dial you up.

- No eating and drinking while you are not there (if they choke or drink poisonous liquid who will help them?

-No climbing or horseplay. Stay in one place and keep your activity simple, watch tv, play with your baseball cards, DSI or your dolls.

-Do not open the door for anyone. If it is the police or other authority they are to call you on your cell phone.

****Have a family password that signals danger or something is not right. Teach all members of the family this password and when and how to use it. Do not share the password with anyone but the immediate family!*****

-Do not answer the phone unless they hear your voice on the answering machine.

-Know what to do in case of fire. They need to know your escape route and to close the door after they leave to stop the fire from spreading.

-Tell your child when you will be back and stick to it. They can call you if they get scared or worried.

-Another option is to set them up on a phone call or web chat with a family member or trusted adult friend until you get back.

Be Honest and Be mindful with how much Information you give:

Unfortunately, we live in a world with new dangers that seem to pop up daily. The internet, texting and phone dangers, dangerous games , drugs, etc. Talk honestly with your children on a need to know basis about the dangers that can really affect them. Empower them with knowledge so that they can get through tough situations. If you need help on how to approach your child about a difficult subject consult a school social worker or guidance counselor.

Be safe and have a super week!